The pillars of the Pucker Punch cult doctrine
I. THE PLANT
The gods have blessed us with
beans from only the most
exotic, rare, & premium coffee
varieties. We import these
divine beans in small batches
instead of containers to
maintain their other-worldly
flavor integrity.
II. THE PROCESS
Our natural sun drying process
allows the beans to fully
immerse with the coffee cherry
for a fruitier, more full-bodied
flavor so divine—it brings you
closer to the gods with every sip.
III. PEOPLE
Our sacred process requires
much more physical labor than
less sustainable methods. Our
fair trade practices ensure our
partners are paid well for their
efforts, and by working with local
intermediaries, we also avoid
private & governmental
institutions.
IV. PLANET
Our natural sundried process
coffee requires 80% less
water waste than
other coffee processing methods,
making it a sustainable choice for
Mother Earth.
We worship the Coffee Gods
WE ARE PUCKER PUNCH; a collective of human beings chosen by the gods. Chosen to serve the planet & worship its most wondrous & enigmatic creation—the coffee plant.
The gods have seen you, meticulously praying at your alter each morning. Grinding your beans. Lovingly pouring over your drip. Savoring every sip. Searching for meaning in the blackness…For the perfect cup.
Yes…YOU are who our divine beans were created for.
As loyal servants & shamans of the coffee gods, we’ve listened & transcribed their messages.
We’ve learned how to effectively grow, harvest, and deliver their otherworldly beans to the chosen ones.
Resulting in a vivid taste not meant to be consumed—but to be experienced. The way the gods intended.
Alas, it’s not something your average person would understand…
But you’re not just anyone, are you? No… you’ve been chosen. This is what you’ve been searching for.
Let Pucker Punch fuel you. Let it ignite your conscious.
It’s time to wakeup.
Join us….& WORSHIP THE COFFEE GODS.
Anything else is blasphemy.
